Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
