Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
