your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
