Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
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this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
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I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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