someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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