He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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