I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
