Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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