the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
