his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
