he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
