He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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