I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
