My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
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I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
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I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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