I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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