I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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