i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
