I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
