i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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