Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No subtext here. People are naked.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
