Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
