She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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