I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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