I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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