i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
