I'll bet she douches with gravy.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
