This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
