youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
His nipple licking is glorious
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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