Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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