i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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