good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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