I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
