You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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