Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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