they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
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I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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