my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i've created a new STD.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
