Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
