he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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