my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize