Sponge bath it is.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
