I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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