If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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