It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
