You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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