you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dicks are not precious.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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