hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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