just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
