I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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