The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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