4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
