we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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