rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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