i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
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You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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