Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize