he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize