In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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