at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
