Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
