Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
