i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
