Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
