fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
