Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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