You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
