Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.