So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
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I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us