at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
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She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless