This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"