i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
