I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
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I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
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Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.