My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
