You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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