please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
